Voice from a dry well

March 1st, 2019

I am dying.

I’ve not told about this to anybody yet.

It has been three days since I was diagnosed. I went with the complaint of a pain in my stomach, but I came out with a cancer.

Cancer — a word that I have only heard about and people not around me having it. Not in the vicinity has it or any other life threatening disease happened. Now I have it.

I don’t know what to do. Knowing that I’ll soon die is the shittiest feeling I’ve ever experienced, and knowing that I can’t control makes it even worse.

Life was going finally in some direction, and I didn’t know it was leading me to my death.

Whom should I tell first?; or should I tell them all together? If only I could’ve gone away without telling anybody. Ammi is watching her favorite program on television right now, Sarita is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and Papa is going through his papers as usual. I think it will be better, if I tell after everybody will have their dinner at the dinner table. Then I’ll not have to assemble everybody.

I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die…….

There is so much I wanted to do. Ammi wanted to travel. I wanted to buy sarees for her. I wanted to give her a home she always wanted. Papa wanted to relax in his retirement. Sarita and I wanted to give them the gift of a grandson.

Everything is going to waste and I cannot do anything about it.

Please, Please, Pl….